Say Hi to an 18th Girl !! :)

Today is a day before my birthday, My 18th birthday.
There are so many people who turn 18 this year,
There will be so many people who turn 19 the next year,
but i'm certain, just a few people who brave enough to evaluate their previous year

It would be a lie if i said, i don't like being a teenager
Teen age is such a beautiful age where getting hurt is fine
Because we are still this young to find the cure
Teen age is where i feels the wild side of me

Breathing the air with my free soul
There are no regrets, not even a tiny bit
it should be

The past 17 years in my life was so amazing, i couldn't expressed them in words
I always find myself in the position where i refused to did before
When i said "i don't want to do that", I find myself did in the end
The life where i lived this 17 years, was a cool yet amusing years

Even 17 years past and now i will got my tittle as an 18th girl
I'm still afraid of becoming an adult
The fact that i'm different from any other teens scares me sometimes
But like i said, there's nothing to regret

I always tell myself that i don't want to die as no one
I want to be remembered as someone who precious enough
to become a hero for my beloved
As much as i want to stop myself
I couldn't do that

If you think i never wanted to be like others,
Just in case if you ever did
I Want to explain

I'm actually the same girl you found among your friend
The girl who easily falling in love with a guy
Just by a smile, a slight skin ship
The girl who easily get hurt

I want to care about my appearance
Used a lip-balm or be fashionable
Skillfully took a selfie
Post it everywhere

I want to go to watch movies
With the one i need to be with
Go shopped with other girls
And test a few make up styles

But all i did was creating events
Did a bunch of meetings
Rushed because of the deadline
Made a few mistakes and got scolded

I used to came to school with training pants and usual shirt
Used my dull black shoes and white socks
Skillfully took photos for documentation
And attached them into my reports

I went to meetings
Even with the one i refused to meet
Go shopped alone for events
And tested sound system early in the morning

But i never regret them
I'm actually thankful
because of the tight schedule i took
the free time are so precious

I don't hate people who talked bad about me
but i admit i'm actually got hurt because of it, many times
I don't really like how people adore me
sometimes it is a burden for me to do better, many times

There is nothing i hate more than myself
I'm afraid how i appeared in front of others
Afraid of what i should and shouldn't done
Afraid if i couldn't take the pain anymore

i'm blessed, there are much teenager who going through a hardship now
Living the life they hate, living the fake life someone created for them
I created my own ways, God leads me and protect me well
When i'm tired and frustrated, i keep this in my mind

Today is for the better tomorrow
There is nothing hard enough to do
Have you ever heard
That what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?

I hope the up coming years will be even better
Will be even cooler and even amazed me more
I hope i can go around the world and see the other side of life
I want to make it come true for sure

I want to feel love more this year
Welcome every chance for me to falling in love
Accept myself for who i am
And try to be even better than before

I hope the future me isn't a failure
I hope the future me isn't a loser
Someday i will say to the 17th years old me
"You did good, thanks to you now i'm well lived"

And the upcoming years i will work even harder
With the higher expectation
Higher effort and a wider heart
To be prepared for any possibilities


 20-07-2015 23:05